P (17 y.o. boy, my regattas-and-shipwrecks reporter): (reflectively) (actually addressing the librarian, not me): Did you ever think of oranges being pre-sliced?
Me: I’ve thought of bananas being pre-packaged.
P: Hey, I could write an article about this… about how they’re pre-sliced.
Me: Write it about that, and about how they prevent scurvy.
P (knowledgeably, with great conviction): ANY fruit will prevent scurvy.
Me: Not bananas, I don’t feel like.
P: That’s why bananas are not classified as a fruit.
Me: They’re classified as an animal.
P: Yeah… hey, if bananas are classified as an animal what would happen if you fed one to a vegetarian?
Me: They’d be upset. And feel guilty.