Let’s Start a Magazine

…four of the most beautiful words in the English language.

This one, developed in a text conversation with Maggie Kelly, would be a more or less conservative women’s mag, vaguely Christian. Think Verily, but not. Format, and devotion to the art of the listicle, would be similar. Problem is I can’t decide whether this would be mostly parody, or mostly almost-serious articles I actually want to write. Probably half and half.

Maggie’s contributions:

“Sixteen Cardigans That Channel Edith Stein,” “Ten Espadrilles That Scream Gender Realism,” and “How Switching To Pastured Milk Taught Me That We’re All Meant To Be Mothers.”

Other pieces:

“From Sleek to Sassy: Mantillas For Every Occasion,” “Your Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Very Large Unkempt Beards Sexy,” “Katharine Drexel and Therese of Lisieux: Who Wore it Better?”

(Investigative) “Top Five Female Foundation Heads Whose Manolos are Bought With Donors’ Money”

(Editorial) “Three Least Effective Things to Say to Your Pro-Choice Aunt at Thanksgiving.”

(Lifestyle) “Why it Makes Perfect Sense that All the Women at my Soho Barre Class are Obsessed With Objectivist Yoga Pants.”

(Interview) “Sieglinde’s Sisters: Three Women Who Identify as Alt-Right.”

(How-to) “Feeding Sinful But Intrinsically Valuable Striking Longshoremen on a Budget: Dorothy Day’s Guide to Domestic Economy.”

A piece cross-posted to City Journal: “Broken Window Treatments: Ten Ways to Reduce Street Crime Through Decorating.”

There could be a regular column called Ask Gertrude, where people write in and Gertrude Himmelfarb solves their problems for them: “Dear Gertrude: I think my country may be doing the Enlightenment wrong. How can I tell for sure?”

And if the mag ever ventured into book publication, the first title is below:



4 responses to “Let’s Start a Magazine

  1. OK, funny, very funny. On my personal list of really bad ideas, howsomever, Another Magazine is near the top. Like a hole in the head. “Vaguely Christian”–sounds riveting!
    How bout a more literate Onion. I know: call it Shallot!

  2. I think both would work. I also want to write little biographies of accomplished (mostly-religious) conservative woman intellectuals. Portraits in the immanence/transcendence, nurture/achievement dialectic. Which I think would also serve as a microcosm critiques of liberalism. All of this is still very embryonic! (Get it?)

  3. This is wonderful. I would read and subscribe.

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